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Top Ten Best Ways to Shorten Your Life

Avoid These and Live Longer

By

Updated November 24, 2008

Looking around, I'd say that people are looking for ways to shorten their lives. Smoking, eating too much, and more all add up to subtract years from your life expectancy. Take a look at these top ten ways to shorten your life. Feel proud of each one that doesn't describe you.

1. Smoke

Smoking and Cigarettes
Maren Caruso / Getty Images
Smoking is a fantastic way to not only to shorten your life, but to reduce your quality of life too. Not only will smokers have up to 14 years less life on average, they will also suffer from side effects like insomnia, shortness of breath and agitation from almost day one. Best of all, they get to pay thousands of dollars a year for these results. And if you want to shorten your life span, don't think you can let up on smoking as you age -- even in middle age or later, when people quit smoking their health improves greatly.

2. Bad Driving / No Seatbelt

Seat Belts
Ryan McVay / Getty Images
Here's another great way to shorten your life expectancy: drive recklessly and don't wear a seatbelt. Driving accidents are a leading
  • cause of death for young people (and a major cause of death for older people too).
  • 3. Don't Exercise

    Exercise is Fun
    Being a coach potato shortens your life expectancy by as much as 9 years. Basically, when your don't workout regularly, your cells tend to age faster (not to mention the extra weight that seems to stick to you more). Not exercising is also a great way to increase your stress level while decreasing your energy level. Not exercising even helps you not fall asleep at night. So if you want to shorten your life expectancy, be tired all the time and feel tense -- not exercising might be right for you.

    4. Don't Eat Fruits and Vegetables

    Vegetables
    Photo: Digital Vision / Getty Images
    Be careful about fruits and vegetables. They contain substances that not only keep you healthy, but that also repair some of the damage caused by aging. When you eat them, they actually can reverse aging in your body. If you are looking to shorten your life span, be sure not to eat more than a few fruits and vegetables each day and cover them in butter and cheese to erase their anti-aging and health benefits.

    5. Be Stressed

    Relaxation and Meditation
    Dougal Waters / Getty Images
    Being stressed is a fantastic way to shorten your life. Not only does chronic stress damage tissues in the body through the continual exposure to harmful stress hormones, it also makes you no fun to be around and even interferes with your sleep. This can lead to having fewer friends and a negative outlook (see below). To shorten your life expectancy: avoid relaxation techniques, take everything very personally and try to take on more than is humanly possible.

    6. Dislike Aging

    aging, happiness and older adults
    Seth Joel / Getty Images
    People can get really worked up about growing older. It makes them depressed and even angry (they look at aging as "unfair" in some way). Turns out those attitudes are a great way to avoid excessive aging. People with a negative attitude toward aging live more than 7 years less than those with a very positive attitude. So if aging really bothers you, dwell on it a lot and maybe you won't have as many birthdays to worry about.

    7. Don't Get Screened

    Talking with Doctors
    Digital Vision / Getty Images
    Screening tests (mammograms, skin cancer checks, etc.) bring up lots of weird attitudes. Many people say "they just don't want to know." Avoiding these tests is another fantastic way to shorten your life. By avoiding screening, you can also avoid access the fabulous advances in early treatment and diagnosis that have saved millions of lives.

    8. Eat Lots

    jelly doughnut
    John Foxx / Getty Images
    Here's a method for life span shortening that I don't have to tell most people about. Eating lots of food is a great way to decrease your life expectancy. In fact, when researchers feed monkeys 30% less food, they live longer. Good research shows this probably applies to humans. So, in simple terms, the more food you eat the shorter your life.

    9. Skip Church / Services

    church
    Medioimages/Photodisc / Getty Images
    No one really know why (divine justice?) but skipping church or other religious services can shorten your life expectancy by a few years. It seems that people who go to religious services regularly just live longer. To shorten your life expectancy, avoid religious services at all costs and (just to be safe) don't even look at a church, mosque, temple or synagogue.

    10. Don't Have Friends / Spouse

    Family
    Nick White / Getty Images
    You can even use your social life to shorten your life expectancy. By avoiding friends and not being in an intimate relationship (like a marriage), your life span decreases. Of course, the quality of your friends/spouse matter too. Researchers have not determined which shortens your life span more -- having no friends/spouse or having bad friends/spouse.
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